How To Build Self-Esteem In Adults? Building Self Esteem – 3 Steps Guide

How to build self-esteem in adults? If you are struggling with low self-respect you must be tolerating abusive relationships, depression, and lack of confidence. In order to begin your building self-esteem journey, you have to achieve a balance and respect for who you are. I would like to share this building self-esteem guide as a self-help tool for you to start your journey. Find something you like, find people who like the same thing. It’s a lot easier to talk to strangers who share similar likes, than just simply strangers. Putting yourself In Social situations and succeeding builds confidence and subsequently esteem.

how to increase self-esteem in adults

if you find yourself being jealous of someone because they are better looking or they are smarter or anything: just think of the thing about them that is making you jealous and turn that into a compliment for them. You don’t actually have to tell them, but it will improve your mindset and it helps you to be a kinder person

“When the demon starts to slither my way and say bad shit about me I turn around and say, ‘Hey. Cool it. Amy is my friend. Don’t talk about her like that.’ Sticking up for ourselves in the same way we would one of our friends is a hard but satisfying thing to do. Sometimes it works.”

Amy Poehler’s
How To Build Self-Esteem In Adults?

Managing negative emotions

Being able to control your emotions requires understanding your own moods, being able to recognize when and why you are upset, and having real strategies to be able to influence the way that you feel.

When you experience healthy emotions you feel good, expanded and your heart open. Feeling negative emotions contract you, drain your vitality and energy.

Practicing Self-care

In the past, I thought that taking care of my body wasn’t important because the spiritual side of myself was the one that I have to focus on. I have realized that it is important because if I don’t take care of your body you will not have a healthy life.

If you do not take care of yourself, you can’t take care of others. It is really important that you have a balanced life. Therefore, it is important that you make time to sleep, play, express your creativity, rest, to work, and expend time in relationships.

To honor your spirit means Honesty with yourself and your life. Talking responsibility. Balancing your life being in nature. And being open to synchronistic messages and divine wisdom.

Next Steps

Eating disorders

People who suffer from eating disorders often have a distorted perception of their bodies. Your self-image influences your behavior. Also your self-esteem and confidence. It is the opinion of how you think you look to other people. It involves also how you see yourself and how you think other people judge you.


How To Build Self-Esteem In Adults?

“Arrogant” has become a completely negative word in our culture. I will address this word and concept in its virtually always used negative meaning below but I wanted to begin by pointing out that arrogance did not start off as being negative. Instead, it started off as usually being a royal prerogative.

Victim Mentality

The victim mentality is a self-defeating pattern that does one of two things, or more commonly both together. The victim mentality causes you to think that you cannot make the changes in your life that you desire to make because of others, for reasons that you cannot define, mysteriously “have it out” for you and wish you ill will, and thus they do things to set you back, harm you emotionally, etc.

Fear and anxiety

Those who suffer from low self-esteem experience fear and anxiety. They are extremely anxious and lack confidence. Fear and anxiety are some of the symptoms of low self-esteem. The difference between fear and anxiety is that with fear, you can identify the source of your emotion whereas with anxiety the source is unidentifiable.


When you are always expecting the worst you create an attitude of pessimism. If you are constantly expecting the worst you are either thinking that somebody will do something bad to you or that you won’t be able to achieve what you want. When you immerse yourself in pessimism you become a victim.

Distorted Body Image

Body image is the perception one person has about his or her physical appearance. There is a distorted misconception about self-esteem and body image. I have found that this misconception exists because our society teaches us to find beauty outside ourselves, in our bodies.


Self-hate is also known as self-hatred, is a destructive pattern that can ruin your life.

Depression, Anxiety, and Insomnia

Emotional problems can greatly impact a person’s life. A person that is emotionally disturbed may encounter difficulties in learning and establishing relationships with others. They may also exhibit inappropriate behaviors, unwarranted fears, and are unhappy most of the time.

Low Self-Confidence

How To Build Self-Esteem In Adults

Sometimes you may feel low self-confidence at work as well as in your relationships with loved ones, coworkers, and friends. You may even experience low confidence when it comes to your body. No matter what the situation is those feelings happen.

Insecurity issues

When you experience feelings of insecurity your tendency is to believe that you are never good enough. Insecurity leads you to believe that you are incompetent and helpless to face problems.

Fear of rejection

Fear of rejection is an irrational fear of not being accepted for who you are. Fear of rejection is caused by a lack of confidence and self-esteem. You may have developed these fears during your childhood if your parents constantly compared you with others.


A symptom of low self-esteem because of fear of meeting new people, lack of self-confidence, self-consciousness, and feeling e too visible.


Some of us have been taught that we have to be nice to win other’s people approval. I personally tried to be nice for a long time. Not only because my mother was “too nice”, but because by seen her acting that way I was convinced that was the only way to get others’ love and approval.

Caring too much about what others think

Are you always worried about what other people think of you?. Do you plan your outfits, your food choices, or your social activities solely around others’ opinions?. Caring too much about what other people think is downright destructive.

Co dependency

How To Build Self-Esteem In Adults

I come from a family with a co-dependent mother. I am neither judging her nor blaming her. But identifying co-dependency symptoms in her helped me a lot to overcome low self-esteem.


Perfectionism is when no effort is ever good enough. when you become fearful of making mistakes or of being humiliated. Everything must be perfect. when you never seem to have enough time to do your best. when you demand perfection and intolerant of others’ mistakes.


Jealousy is an emotion that shows up when there is a threat in a relationship. Jealousy in a relationship is the wish to keep for ourselves the person we love. For example. When I was a child I got jealous at my brother when my parents gave him something. I thought he was more lovable than me.


If you want to feel good about yourself you have to learn to let go of guilt. When you feel guilty you have the tendency to punish yourself, deep inside you think you are a bad person. Therefore you may develop a tendency to hurt yourself, self-sabotage, and self-hate.

Find the Causes

Parents’ Negligence.

Children brought up where love and affection are lacking, feel abandoned and insignificant as adults.

Excessive Criticism

When children are constantly criticized as adults lack worth, they become pessimistic and think they will never be enough.

Past failures.

Those who fail to achieve their goals and dreams begin to think that they are a failure and this results in loss of esteem.

Bad physical appearance

This leads to an inferiority complex

Child abuse

Physical, emotional, or sexual abuse harms self-esteem

Negative Experiences

Negative experiences that are not resolved harm a person’s self-esteem.

1 thought on “How To Build Self-Esteem In Adults? Building Self Esteem – 3 Steps Guide”

  1. Stephanie A Carpenter

    Very inspiring and insightful. Definitely need to work on accepting change and self improvement. Thanks for giving me the tools to do this!

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